


How (NOT) to Pass a Knife

by brainfagged



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kihyuk Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-07-25 03:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16189304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainfagged/pseuds/brainfagged
Summary: It’s all fun and games until shit hits the fan and someone gets hurt.





	1. Chapter 1

Letting his body drop onto the couch in their living room, Kihyun huffed and looked around at his surroundings. There was nothing else to be done around in their dorm and he was itching to do something. He had been up since seven in the morning, spending most of the time painstakingly cleaning every nook and cranny of their living space. He got laundry done, cleaned the bathroom, got rid of expired food from the refrigerator and the pantry cabinet, vacuumed, dusted all the furniture and even wiped all the windows until they were squeaky clean.

He had even cleaned his already immaculate space in a fit of desperation.

“Oh my god... I’m so bored…” He muttered exasperatedly to himself.

Everyone else was out doing something. It was his day off and he was all alone in the house. As always.

He stared around in frustration. The walls of their dorm were starting to close in on him and he had to get out. He had to find something to do.

A light-bulb moment occurred and his eyes lit up as the idea popped into his mind.

V Live. 

That’s it. He should stream on V Live. It’s been a while since he last got on V Live and shared his passion for cooking with the fans. It would be a perfect idea, he thought. He could kill time by doing two things that he enjoys doing at once. He’d be able to interact with the fans and test out new recipes at the same time. To make his cooking segment more interesting and lively, he’d ask one of the members to join him on the broadcast. The fans are going to love it! The thought itself had him smiling from ear to ear.

Usually, Kihyun would carefully and meticulously plan out the content of his cooking segment way ahead of time, but today he decided that he’d just wing it and go for it. He quickly messaged their manager to inform what he had planned out for the day.

Infused with buoyant enthusiasm, Kihyun sat up and reached for his laptop. He flipped the lid open and waited for the computer screen to load. Sitting crossed legged on the couch with the laptop perched on his lap, he poured his undivided attention on the screen, diligently searching for a delicious looking recipe that’d catch his fancy.

“Hmm… should I make a Korean dish or a foreign dish?” he mused, pursing his lips as he considered the options.

He sat through a few more cooking videos on Youtube and carefully deliberated on his menu choices. When he finally made his decision, he shut the lid of his laptop and placed it back on the coffee table.  Wasting no time, he scurried off to his room to get ready.

Making sure that he had everything he needed with him, he reminded himself that before leaving the dorm, he needed to ask if any of the other members were willing to join him on his cooking segment that day.

Shownu and Wonho were out on a photo shoot. Hyungwon mentioned that he’d be spending most of his day out with his family. While Minhyuk, Jooheon, and I.M were also out, he had no idea what they were up to. So, he pulled his phone to find out, hoping that at least one of the three would be available to join him.

Since Minhyuk had been on his broadcast a few times before, he thought it would be great to invite either Jooheon or I.M to join him on his broadcast this time around. So, he decided to try his luck on the youngest first, but unfortunately, I.M was busy in the studio writing songs for their upcoming album. He called Jooheon next, and as he had expected, the rapper was also busy

“Okay...  let’s see what Minhyuk’s doing…” the vocalist mumbled to himself.

Dialing Minhyuk’s number, the call went straight to the voicemail. Kihyun frowned, looking at the screen of his phone in disbelief. _That’s a rare occurrence_ , he thought. Instead of leaving a voice message or trying again, he decided to send his friend a message;

 

[유기현]: (( 11:16AM ))

Minhyuk-ah. Where are you? Are you busy?

[유기현]: (( 11:16AM ))

Tried calling but the call went straight to your voicemail. Are you in a cave or something? What are you doing?

[유기현]: ((11:16AM ))

I’m bored. I wanted to go on V Live and cook, but Changkyun and Jooheon are busy. Do you wanna maybe… join me if you have time?

[유기현]: ((11:16AM ))

Let me know.

 

The vocalist waited for a few seconds, staring at his phone to see if Minhyuk would reply.  Acknowledging that the reply wouldn’t come anytime soon, he simply pocketed his phone, put on his shoes and left the house.

 

 Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘

 

Before heading to their company headquarters, Kihyun made a quick stop at the supermarket to get all of the ingredients needed for the dish he was planning to make. Time was not on his side, so he made sure not to get distracted in the supermarket and only searched for the ingredients listed on the recipe. After making sure that he had everything, he quickly made his purchase and headed to his intended destination.

At some point, while he was on his way to the Starship headquarters, his phone buzzed and a few messages were displayed on the screen.

 

 

[이민혁] : ((13:04PM))

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[이민혁]: ((13:04PM))

Forgot to charge my phoneㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[이민혁] : ((13:04PM))

 Wow, I was I your last choice? You’re horrible. Just because I got invited last, I DEFINITELY don’t want to join. You can explain to our Monbebes how I couldn’t come because you were horrible to me

[이민혁]: ((13:05PM))

Dunno if I can make it anyways. I’m with friends. Just do your broadcast alone

 

 

With that, Kihyun resigned to the fact that he had to carry on with the broadcast alone. Not that it would be a problem for the vocalist; he’d do just fine by himself. It was just that he knew that he’d enjoy it more if he had the others with him. Understanding that Minhyuk was out doing his own thing, Kihyun replied to the message telling him that it was fine and to enjoy the rest of his day off.

By the time they arrived at the headquarters, Kihyun was itching to get on with his plan. He was excited. Getting up to the floor where he was planning to get the broadcast done, he politely asked if he could have the kitchen area for a few hours. Despite not asking in advance, he was grateful that they had allowed him to have the space for the day.

His current contentedness, however, did not last. He was having problems with the internet connection. Apparently, the internet was acting up for some floors in the building.  And the floor that Kihyun was on happened to be one of them.

He couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened by the setback. It was too late to find another location, and going home to cook in the kitchen of their dorm wouldn’t be too convenient.  He thought about his options carefully. He didn’t want to just throw in the towel and give up. Kihyun was never the kind to do anything halfway, so he decided to just record the whole cooking segment and upload it later when they get back home.  Things weren’t going as he had hoped, but he wasn’t going to let it deter him.

 

Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘

 

Before turning the camera on, Kihyun had changed into a white button-up shirt which never failed to make him appear even sharper and adept. He just prefers to look prim and proper on his cooking segment, and it was a good look on him.

Kihyun organized his workspace, arranging each and every ingredient on the countertop. Presentation is everything.  He made sure everything was within reach, but not obstructing the allotted free space to work. Satisfied with how it looked, he told their manager to turn the camera on and to start recording.

He gave a cheery greeting towards the camera, first clarifying how this was supposed to be a live broadcast, but due to the unforeseen circumstances with the building’s internet, he couldn’t forge through his original plan. He apologized to the fans, knowing that it would have been a much better experience if they could interact in real-time together. He then continued on to talk about the menu he had chosen for the day. While he was going on about the menu, the manager had mouthed to Kihyun that Minhyuk was on his way there.

The vocalist merely nodded to their manager in response, a smile spread across his face at the information. He wasn’t going to be doing this all by himself after all. He was glad.

After going on about his chosen dish a little bit more, he was finally ready to start cooking. Unbuttoning the cuffs, he neatly rolled up his sleeves and his eyes made a quick sweep across the countertop.

“Ah, pots and pans!” He scolded himself, only then realizing that he hadn’t put them out.

He was about to look for the said kitchenware when he heard a familiar voice reverberate on the other end of the room.

It was Minhyuk, gracing the space with his lively presence.

“Is it ready yet?” The older boy asked before anything else. “You haven’t even started yet?”

“No…I was about to--”Kihyun retorted.

“What are you making this time?” Minhyuk questioned as he stepped into the kitchen area, trailing behind Kihyun.

“I’m making Sataejjim today. The camera is recording, by the way.” The younger boy advised as he rummaged through the cabinets, looking for a suitable pot to use.

Minhyuk glanced at the camera in acknowledgment and pretended to frown. “You asked me to come all the way here, and you’re not even making my favorite food.” Actually, Sataejjim sounded great, he just wanted to tease Kihyun.

Kihyun ignored the older boy’s comment and proceeded to the sink to wash the stew pot that he deemed suitable to be used. Drying it up, he then placed the heavy duty pot on top of the stove.

“I haven’t eaten lunch today. So I came here to eat.” Minhyuk admitted, flashing a bright, toothy smile towards the camera.  Glancing at the ingredients splayed out on the counter top, he spotted a bunch of leafy greens.

 His well-manicured brows knitted in confusion and he picked up the green bunch, “You’re putting these in the Sataejjim as well?”

“No, no. Of course not.  Those are for the salad. Wonho-hyung needs his healthy sides, so I’m making that for him. And everyone else, of course.” Kihyun answered.

Minhyuk nodded as he continued to look at each ingredient. “Okay, let’s start now!” He suddenly exclaimed. He could feel his stomach grumbling, the thought of his teeth biting into the tender braised beef made his mouth water.

Kihyun laughed at Minhyuk’s sudden insistence, “Minhyuk-ah… you haven’t even greeted them properly!” the younger boy gestured towards the camera.

“Oh, that’s right! Hello everyone! I’m Minhyuk from Monsta X!” He gave the camera a big, bright smile, offering his usual bubbly charm. “Let me take off my jacket!” he suddenly said, already trying to wriggle himself out of the jacket.

Again, Kihyun couldn’t help but laugh at Minhyuk’s manic movements. “Yeah take off your jacket… and don’t forget to wash your hands!” Kihyun reminded the way a mother would.

Kihyun turned his attention back to the camera, momentarily forgetting why he was there in the first place. “Now… let’s see what we should do…” he tried to rearrange his thoughts back in order.  “Okay…  I’ll show you the ingredients first!”  He picked up a cling wrapped container and then slowly and carefully unraveled the plastic sheet. “This is the star ingredient of our menu today! It’s beef shank. I bought a lot this time because I’m going to cook a big portion to bring it for the other members too!”

“The ingredients are not complicated so it — “

“Okay, I’m back!” Minhyuk cut in, walking back into the frame, standing right beside Kihyun. “What are we making again?”

“Sataejjim…” Kihyun wanted to continue talking about the ingredients but Minhyuk was obviously not following the same route as the other.

“Why did you choose something hard?”

“It’s not…it’s pretty simple … It just sounds hard, but it really is not. “ Kihyun picked up a knife and started to cut the meat into bite size pieces. In the background, Minhyuk was going on and on about how Kihyun should have picked something easier to make, and about what was most important about cooking are the basics. 

Kihyun let Minhyuk rant on, he was too concentrated in making sure the meat was cut into the same size. The older boy, on the other hand, was in the mood to tease Kihyun. Then again, when does he not? After the whole talk about the importance of basic things in life, he went on to tease Kihyun about not knowing was an induction stove was. It was something that Minhyuk would bring up every now and then just to tease the younger boy.

The vocalist didn’t have much to say, he would just laugh along and listen to Minhyuk most of the time.

“Ah! You should prepare the salad then! It’s very basic, and it’s suitable for you!” There was a tone of sarcasm in Kihyun’s words.

Minhyuk whined and Kihyun did not expect any less from his friend. “Why do we have to prepare the salad? Wonho-hyung could eat it just like that…  I’m hungry! I came here to eat… not make salads!”

 “Salad... make the salad…” the younger boy chuckled and repeated himself over Minhyuk’s incessant whining. 

Minhyuk relented with a pout. “What should I do?”

“Wash the lettuces and the cherry tomatoes, and then cut the chicken breast into strips…” Kihyun paused momentarily, trying to think if there was anything else he needed Minhyuk to do. “….that’s it... for now…”

Despite all of his whining, Minhyuk obeyed. He washed the lettuce leaves and tomatoes as told.

“Can you please cut the lettuce a little, the leaves are too big. Cut them about bite size…!” Kihyun requested over from his side. He was now meticulously cutting the carrots and potatoes; everything was starting to come together for the main dish.

Minhyuk nodded and reached for the closest knife in sight. Now wielding a rather impressive sized knife, he began to cut the lettuce leaves.

Kihyun glanced over to watch what Minhyuk was doing — it was a habit that he couldn’t quite break. He had to make sure Minhyuk wasn’t off doing the opposite of what was told. “Minhyuk-ah… you’re practically mincing the leaves now… just cut it in half, then cut them in half again. That’d do.”

At this point, he wondered if he was asking too much out of the older boy. Maybe he should just do it himself.

“Why does it even matter? It’s going to be chewed and  get digested in the stomach anyway!” Minhyuk huffed.  “You’re so fussy…” he continued to complain, his cutting grew faster.

Kihyun grimaced at the sight of Minhyuk’s careless ways while handling the knife. Sometimes, Kihyun couldn’t help but wonder if everything that Minhyuk does was purposely designed to spite him. He laughed at the older boy’s antics and shook his head, turning to the sink to wash the cutting board and the stalk of scallions.

“Everyone, we should be careful with knives. It’s a dangerous tool” Minhyuk ranted as he cut the lettuce.

“Of course…” Kihyun agreed, half listening to Minhyuk’s never-ending chattering, half concentrating on the task at hand. Faced towards the sink with his back on Minhyuk, Kihyun washed the rest of the scallion while gathering his thoughts on what needed to be done next. He could hear Minhyuk babbling away behind him, but he wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying anymore.

“When you hand it over to someone, hand it this way…” with the knife in his hand, Minhyuk demonstrated how a knife should be properly handled when handing it to someone else.

A glint of mischief flickered in the older boy’s eyes. “But…” Minhyuk grinned impishly. “If you pass it to Kihyun… then do it this way” He changed the position of the knife, holding on to the handle. Incautiously, he turned slightly to the side with the blade of the knife extended towards where Kihyun was standing minutes earlier, cheekily showing the camera how he would pass the knife to Kihyun.

He could have sworn he heard Kihyun behind him at the sink, he could have sworn that just seconds before he turned to the side, Kihyun wasn’t right there where he was pointing the knife at.

A small gasp escaped the vocalist’s lips. The look on Kihyun’s face changed from bemused to shock as he looked down. Kihyun was unable to grasp what had happened. Their eyes made contact for a brief moment and he staggered backward disengaging himself from the blade of the knife, crimson red blossomed on his white pristine shirt.

Frozen, Minhyuk watched as Kihyun shuddered and collapsed to the tiled floor. He looked at his friend in horrified shock. His face blanched white. “Oh, shi-- Ki…” Minhyuk gasped, realizing that he had just accidentally stabbed Kihyun. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry Ki! “

His mind circled and his knees sunk to the floor beside Kihyun, he gathered Kihyun’s small, shuddering frame in his arms.

“Hongsik-hyung! Hongsik-hyung” he bellowed urgently, calling out for their manager who was sitting in the corner of the room catching some Zs.

“What happened? What happened?” the older man woke up immediately from his slumber, leaping out of his position and quickly stomped across the room to where Minhyuk was calling from. His frantic steps came into a halt when he saw the horror before him. “Oh god...”

“He’s hurt! Hurry up and get help!” Minhyuk screamed desperately. There was no time to explain what happened, Kihyun was bleeding on the floor and he needed help.

The manager quickly understood the direness of the situation. Without a second to lose, he bolted out of the kitchen area to get to his phone that was charging in the other room and made the call to  119.

 

“M’hyuk…” Kihyun slurred, coughing and struggling to pull in air.

“Kihyun-ah… it’s okay it’s okay help is coming… hang on… just stay with me okay?” He tried to stay calm but his voice betrayed him.

The fallen boy did not verbally respond, his glassy eyes staring up to Minhyuk, a trickle of blood started to spill from the corner of his mouth.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit._

The wound looked deep, and Kihyun was bleeding profusely.

From all of the movies and dramas he had watched in his lifetime, Minhyuk learned that he should try to slow down the bleeding. Wincing, he placed his hand on the wound in an attempt to do just that. He felt his hand quickly get slicked by the blood that was pouring out of Kihyun’s body.

“Kihyun-ah—“

By now, Kihyun had stopped shuddering, his breaths became slower and slower by the second.

Minhyuk frowned when Kihyun breathed out a small sigh, the smaller boy’s body relaxing in his arms. He watched in horror when Kihyun’s eyes slid shut. “No, no, no, no. Kihyun-ah! Stay awake!“ he ordered frantically. His heart nearly leaping out of his own chest when he realized that the vocalist was no longer breathing. _Don’t die. Don’t die. Please don’t die._ He thought desperately.

His friend was dying right before him-- in his very own arms and Minhyuk couldn’t let it happen.

“Kihyun!” He called out desperately, shaking his friend lightly, hoping for a response. Tears brimming in his eyes and he could barely think. He was shaking in fear of losing his friend.

He needed Kihyun to breathe. He didn’t know how, but he was so desperate that he would just try about anything at the moment.

He tilted the younger’s head back and began to breathe for him. “Don’t do this Kihyun-ah… don’t do this... please…” He pleaded between breaths. “C’mon, c’mon….” He whispered desperately. “Please breathe…. Don’t leave me… don’t leave us…”

In his muddled and confused state, Minhyuk didn’t even hear the paramedics rush into the space between the counters of the kitchen. He wasn’t even aware when he was pushed away from Kihyun so they could get closer to give an aid to his bleeding friend.

He stood there in extreme shock. Everything was starting to jumble and he couldn’t quite concentrate on what was going on around him. He looked down and saw his crimson covered hands.

Kihyun’s blood.

Everything was rushing back to him mercilessly.

It was supposed to be a harmless joke.  A stupid, but a harmless joke. Not this.

_Stay with us Kihyun, oh my God, please… stay with us… I’m sorry._

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Upon arriving at the hospital, Kihyun was rushed into the emergency room to be treated. And that had been two hours ago. Minhyuk paced the length of the hospital waiting area as he nervously waited for the news of his friend’s condition. He could still see everything so clearly. The horrific scene from earlier played over and over again in his head like a bad movie— as if the whole moment was stuck on replay.

_Kihyun-ah, please be okay, please be okay._

Looking down at his bloodstained hands, he felt filthy from the inside and the outside. He felt that he no longer deserved the title of a friend, not even a co-worker. He had fucked up big time, and he might have just cost Kihyun his life.

_What if he doesn’t make it?_

His thought was interrupted and he instantly turned his head when he heard familiar voices coming from the end of the corridor. He saw Shownu and Wonho first. The rest of the members trailed closely right behind them.

“What the hell happened? How is he?” Wonho asked, fervid concern dripping in his voice.

“I-I don’t know… I don’t know,” Minhyuk shook his head dejectedly. “No one’s telling me anything. He’s still in surgery.”

“What? Surgery? Okay, but what the hell happened?” Wonho questioned again, feeling uneasy that Minhyuk hadn’t answered him the first time. He caught a glimpse of the dried blotches of blood tainting Minhyuk’s hands and then noticed the dark stain on his grey sweater.

“I… I accidentally s-stabbed him…” Minhyuk stammered. He kept his eyes downcast, not able to face the other members.

“What?” The boys responded almost in unison, their mouths hung open as they digested the information. They could not believe what Minhyuk had said.

“We were cooking for V Live… I-I…I was just fooling around… trying to be… funny… then I accidentally stabbed him… with a knife…”

Wonho’s face instantly became hard; he was livid. Before anyone could stop it, he grasped Minhyuk by the lapels of his jacket and slammed him back against the wall forcefully. “What the fuck? You think fooling around with a knife is fucking funny? What the fuck is wrong with you?” He growled through clenched teeth.

Surprised at the sudden assault by the older boy, Minhyuk gasped, “I… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know that he was standing right there…”  Minhyuk muttered under his breath, eyes swimming in tears. “He wasn’t… then… then suddenly he was—“

“Sorry?” Wonho hacked out a derisive laugh, he was shaking in anger. “You fucking stabbed him!” It took everything in him not to punch Minhyuk square in the face at that moment.

Shownu felt that it was time he interfered. He stepped between Wonho and Minhyuk with a hand on each of their shoulders. His voice was low but firm. "Stop it.” The leader’s eyes flashed between the two younger boys. “Hoseok, you need to calm down before you get us all thrown out of here."

 

Wonho shrugged Shownu’s hand off his shoulder and took another menacing step towards Minhyuk, “If anything happens to him, and he dies, it’s on you, Lee Minhyuk!” The second oldest of the group grounded out through gritted teeth, his fists clenching hard to the point his knuckles were turning white and Minhyuk gulped nervously at the words.

Wonho figured that Minhyuk would need to stay out of his face. He didn’t want to do anything that he might regret later. He shot him another deathly glare before walking away to the other end of the hall, leaving Minhyuk frozen in place staring after him.

Before he could realize it, Jooheon and I.M were beside him offering him a reassuring pat on the back. Despite their warm gesture, he could see the flicker of disappointment in their eyes and he knew that he deserved it.

“Have a seat, hyung.” The second youngest of the group guided the older boy towards the bench and they sat at each of Minhyuk’s side.

“So, hyung… mind telling us exactly happened?”

 

**Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

 

The boys had been waiting for news on Kihyun for five long, restless hours. Minhyuk had been waiting for longer. Hyungwon had fallen asleep with his head resting on I.M’s shoulder. Jooheon and Shownu had gone to the cafeteria to see if they could get some decent coffee, while Minhyuk paced back and forth restlessly around the waiting area. Sitting quiet and stoic in the corner away from the rest of the group, was Wonho.

Minhyuk looked up at the clock positioned near the nurse station at the waiting area. The minute-hand seemed to have slowed to a crawl. Time seemed to move at a dawdling pace. From time to time, a nurse or a doctor would appear from the hallway and Minhyuk would tense up, only to let out a restless sigh later when they would walk past them without even looking in their direction.

Shownu and Jooheon had been back from their quest for coffee at some point, and their manager had joined them again after having to leave for a while. Minhyuk wasn’t even aware when. His attention was fully split between looking at the clock and waiting for the person in charge of treating Kihyun to come out and let them know what was going on.

After what seemed like forever, an elderly male doctor with greying hair walked into the waiting area. He made a stop at the nurse station and spoke to a nurse who then pointed directly at the group of boys waiting in the area. I.M stood quickly, tugging the sleeping Hyungwon up with him, causing the older boy to jerk awake from his doze. Their manager stepped up in front of the boys as the doctor walked over.

“Family of Yoo Kihyun?”

“Yeah, that’s us. I’m his manager. I’m responsible for him.”

“How is he?” Wonho interrupted.

“I’m Kim Daehyun, I’m the surgeon who operated on Kihyun-sshi.” The doctor introduced himself to the anxious boys before answering the question that he needed to answer. “First of all, he’s stable.”

The boys, including their manager, let out a collective sigh of relief but the doctor was not done talking. “The blade missed his heart by merely an inch. It would have been a totally different circumstance if the blade had penetrated or lacerated his heart. He’s a very lucky young man in that sense. But... the blade of the knife did indeed nick his left lung.”

Suddenly Minhyuk didn't want to hear what the doctor had to say, fearing that he wouldn't be able to bear it if it wasn't what he desperately needed to hear from the doctor.

Dr.Kim chose his words carefully before he continued. “I’m not going to lie, that it was touch and go at the beginning. When the paramedics arrived at the scene, he had stopped breathing. They were able to get him to breathe again by initiating mechanical ventilation, fortunately. By the time he arrived at the emergency and trauma department, he had lost a lot of blood and his body went into deep shock. He was cyanotic and his pulse was thready due to the collapsed lung and the overwhelming blood loss. So we started massive fluid infusion and immediately brought him to the operating theatre to fix the wound.”

The doctor paused for a moment, allowing the boys to take in the information he had given them.

“His heart did stop on the way to the operation theatre, so we had to perform a posterolateral thoracotomy on him to relive the cardiac tamponade. The injury to his left lung required surgery so we performed sternotomy to repair the damage done by the knife.

_Damage_ _done_ _by the knife._  

The knife that he, himself had plunged into his friend’s chest. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes. “I-Is… is he going to be okay?” Minhyuk willed himself to ask.

The doctor gave Minhyuk a sympathetic look. "At this point... we can't tell for certain. Your friend is stable, but not completely out of the woods yet. The next twelve hours will be very crucial... if he's still stable after that time frame or shows any improvement... then the prognosis would be favorable. Besides blood transfusion to replenish the blood loss, we have him hooked up to a heart monitor and a ventilator as a precaution. We also want to monitor his blood pressure every ten minutes to make sure there is no unexpected drop in pressure due to the blood loss.”

“Can we see him?” Jooheon asked, hoping that they were able to see Kihyun with their own eyes.

"He's in recovery now and will be moved to the ICU in the next hour or so. I'm sorry, but we can't let anyone in to see him for at least twelve to twenty-four hours... after that, we should be able to let him have visitors for a few minutes at a time depending on his condition. If his condition improves, we'll take him off the ventilator and move him to a normal room. We want to get him breathing on his own again as soon as possible so his diaphragm doesn't weaken. And hopefully, by then, he’ll be awake.”

"Thank you, doctor," Their manager said, relief that at least Kihyun was still alive with a fighting chance.

"My pleasure, gentlemen." The grey-haired doctor nodded. “I will keep you updated with his condition as it progresses. For now, I would advise all of you to go back home and get some rest. It’s been a long day for all of you I’m sure,” the doctor spared a quick glance on Minhyuk before continuing. “There’s absolutely nothing to be done here since he won’t be allowed any visitors anytime soon.” With that, the doctor excused himself and made his leave.

The boys stood in place wordlessly, they could barely process the news that was just delivered to them.

Shownu turned and took stock of Minhyuk’s appearance; the usually chatty and quick-witted boy looked as if he was completely lost. Sure, the leader had a few choice words for Minhyuk, but the younger looked so horrible that any thoughts of lecturing the boy were gone in an instant. He sincerely felt bad for the Minhyuk, but there was nothing that he could say to comfort the boy.

“Boys, let’s head out. You heard what the doctor said. We won’t be able to see him at least until tomorrow, anyway.” Their manager said with a heavy heart, “besides, the both of you still have a schedule to get back to.” The words were directed towards Shownu and Wonho.

Begrudgingly, the two oldest of the group nodded. They didn’t want to leave, but they knew that they still had work to go back to. The manager also reminded Hyungwon about his individual activity scheduled the next morning, indirectly telling the tall boy that he should head back to the dorm and get some rest.

Minhyuk, on the other hand, had refused to leave, and the manager fully understood his decision. He didn’t like the idea, but he knew that there was nothing that he could say to change Minhyuk’s mind.

Jooheon and I.M had decided to stay for a while as well. Even though it was clear that they wouldn’t be able to see Kihyun, it didn’t feel right to leave just yet. Besides, they figured it would probably be a good idea to keep Minhyuk company for a while.

 

 

**Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

 

Down the hallway leading to the set of doors to the intensive care unit, was Minhyuk. He was just standing in the middle of the corridor, looking as if he was lost and unsure on where to go.

"Hyung?" Jooheon called out, approaching him slowly and cautiously. As he got closer, he placed a gentle hand on Minhyuk's back but the older boy recoiled from the touch. “Hyung, are you okay?”

Minhyuk sniffled, seemingly snapped back to reality. "Ye-... y-yeah ... I'm fine…” Jooheon stared intently as Minhyuk scrubbed a bloodstained hand over his face as if trying to erase the images that he had seen. The remains of dried blood on his sweater told Jooheon more than he wanted to know and he frowned in sadness.

The main rapper felt torn. He couldn’t be outwardly mad at Minhyuk, but at the same time, he was disappointed with what had transpired. Minhyuk’s careless action had caused this whole mess. Kihyun could have lost his life. He still could.

“Jooheon-ah…“ Minhyuk suddenly started with a small voice. “W-what do I do… if he dies?”

“He won’t…” Jooheon said with conviction in his voice despite his own lingering doubts. He himself needed the reassurance; he needed to believe that things were going to be okay. “Come on hyung…  Kihyun-hyung is stubborn… he’s not going to die… he won’t… he can’t…”

Minhyuk only stared down at the dark stains on his sweater, his mind was a storm of anger and guilt. 

"He's going to make it, hyung," Jooheon encouraged, knowing the injury Kihyun had sustained was quite serious.

“What if he doesn’t?” Minhyuk mumbled softly, closing his eyes as he tried to gain control before he fell apart completely.

Jooheon sighed, there was no way he could answer that. He felt horrible. He hated seeing Minhyuk in such state, but just like the other members, he too was still riding the wave of shock over what had happened. When he finally found his voice again, he changed the topic completely.

“Hyung, how about we go back to the dorm first? We'll come back tomorrow. You need to get cleaned up and get some rest. I’m sure you’re tired. I promise you’ll feel a lot better after you get some rest. What do you say?”

Minhyuk shook his head lightly, just as Jooheon had expected. “It’s okay Heonnie, bring Kkungie home with you.” The older boy offered a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll be fine here. I need to be here… just in case…” he trailed off.

Jooheon saw no point in trying to change Minhyuk’s decision. He figured that he’d let Minhyuk deal with whatever that he needed to deal with. If he were in that position, he’d want to be able to do the same. “Alright, hyung. Please message me if you need anything, okay? If there’s any news on Kihyun-hyung, please let me know,” he said, patting Minhyuk on the side of his shoulder before turning away to leave.

As Jooheon walked away, Minhyuk turned his heels towards the opposite direction and made his way towards the restroom.

Stepping into the restroom, he caught his own reflection in the mirror over the sink. He momentarily froze. He stared at his own haggard face, searching for some ray of hope in the darkness that he found himself in. He was falling apart.

He looked down at the dried blood on his hands and held in a sob.

Turning on the tap water, he stuck his hands under the hot spray. He started scrubbing as hard as he could, watching the water turn a slight tint of copper . He couldn't stand the sight of the blood on his hands; Kihyun’s blood. Kihyun’s blood should never have been on his hands, but it was, and he had to get it off, so he scrubbed and scrubbed, and scrubbed.

Satisfied that there were no longer traces of dried blood on his hands, he turned the tap off. He took a couple of deep breaths and noticed the dark stains on his sweater.

Blood.

More blood.

Kihyun’s blood was everywhere on his sweater.

Feeling overwhelmed, he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, while sobs racked his aching body.

Not caring that he was on the cold tiled floor of a public restroom, Minhyuk hugged his knees up to his chest. The dam that had been holding back his tears finally broke and he sobbed loudly.

"Oh, God ... Kihyun ... I'm so sorry ... I'm so sorry."

 

 

**Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

 

Wonho stepped into the ICU waiting area to find Minhyuk uncomfortably asleep on the chair. At the sight, the older boy breathed out a heavy sigh as he soundlessly made his way towards the bench, sitting right beside his sleeping friend. He couldn't help but notice the frown lines that marred Minhyuk’s face even in his sleep. The kid looked absolutely restless. As he watched the younger slept, he could only imagine what it must’ve felt like to be burdened with such massive guilt on his shoulders.

_In his restless bit of shut-eye, the scene replayed over and over again. He watched as the knife plunged deep within his friend’s chest. Kihyun gasped, blood frothing from his lips, “Why Min? Why…? Why did you kill me?” Kihyun asked before collapsing to the ground. Then the other members suddenly appeared around him, each and every one of them giving him an accusatory stare. “Why Minhyuk? Why did you kill him?” they chanted repeatedly._

“No, no, no…. I didn’t mean to! Kihyun! I didn’t mean to kill you! I didn’t mean to kill him!” Minhyuk yelled, almost falling out of the chair.

Firm hands reached out to shake Minhyuk awake. “Yah Minhyuk! Lee Minhyuk! Wake up! It was just a dream… you didn’t kill him…” A familiar voice filtered through his ears and he spun his head around, taking in the surroundings. He was no longer in the strange dark place— instead, he was in the familiar walls of the waiting area. Kihyun wasn't bleeding out on the ground and there was no bloodied knife in his hand.

Minhyuk blinked a few times, still looking around frantically until he finally focused on the figure before him. "Wonho hyung…" Minhyuk mumbled between breaths, pulling away slightly from the older boy, casting his tear filled-gaze downward.

No longer clouded by anger, Wonho could see the heavy guilt written on Minhyuk’s expression. The boy looked as though he'd aged ten years in just one night. His were eyes red and dull, his face lacked the usual vibrancy. He could tell the younger was holding back his tears and he felt his own guilt rising up to his chest for the angry words he had thrown at Minhyuk earlier.

Wonho’s eyes softened and he closed the small distance between them, wrapping his arm around Minhyuk in a comforting hug. Despite what happened between them earlier, the younger boy accepted Wonho’s warm gesture without hesitation. Minhyuk truly needed the comfort.

“It’s my fault… it’s all… my fault.” Minhyuk sniffed.

Wonho tightened his embrace around Minhyuk’s slender body, lifting one hand gently to pat the back of his head. He had no words to say. As more sobs escaped the younger boy, he could feel the wet of tears against his shirt.

"Minhyuk-ah. Minhyuk. Calm down. Look at me." Wonho gently commanded, hoping that he could get Minhyuk to calm down a little. With a small reluctance, Minhyuk raised his to meet Wonho’s own.

“I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't mean it. Honest. I couldn't fix it and now Kihyun’s going to die because of what I did." Minhyuk cried harder into Wonho’s shoulder, shaking violently and babbling almost incoherently.

"It’s okay Min, Kihyun’s going to be okay," he said, holding Minhyuk tightly.

"What if he’s not? I’m scared, hyung… I’m so scared… I can’t lose him…” he hiccupped, muffling against Wonho’s jacket. Wonho’s own eyes reddened as they became wet with tears.

Minhyuk once again raised his glassy, bloodshot eyes up to Wonho. "I did this to him…” his voice hinting at more incoming tears. “What if he dies? What if I killed him? “Minhyuk asked.

Wonho reached for Minhyuk’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. His heart was breaking at the despair he witnessed on his friend’s face. “No…he’s going to be fine.” He felt his own tears leaving the edge of his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

"I messed up. I messed up… I'm such an idiot. I’m his friend, and he’s not even safe with me." The pure shame and remorse made Wonho’s heart clench.

"Hyung, I’m sorry, I know you hat—“ Minhyuk began, his throat swelling with emotion.

Wonho interjected the younger mid-sentence. "Minhyuk-ah, listen. Before you say anything more, you need to know that whatever happened earlier, I don’t hate you, non of us hates you. Yeah, Kihyun got seriously hurt because of you. And yes I was mad and I'm sorry for the words I've said. But I know for damn sure that you did not mean for it to happen,” he sighed. “It was stupid. You were stupid and you acted against your better judgment and Kihyun happened to be standing at the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s it. It was an accident.” The older boy said with full certainty.

Minhyuk merely nodded. He couldn’t help but worry about what the future would be like with Kihyun when he would wake up. Could Kihyun find it in his heart to forgive him? Would their friendship ever be the same? He knew that now, more than ever that he had to make this up to Kihyun somehow.

He needed to know that Kihyun was going to be okay and wasn't going to hate him when he came out of this. And if Kihyun didn't come out of this, he needed to know that the other members weren’t going to spend the rest of their lives blaming and hating him—though he knew that he probably deserved it if they did. He needed to know that he still had the others and that they still wanted him to be a part of them.

Wonho saw the fear and self-loathing mirrored on Minhyuk’s face and his heart broke for the younger. He let out a choked laugh, trying to comfort the boy when he, himself, was so close to falling apart. He didn’t say it, but he wanted Minhyuk to know that he believed that everything would eventually return to normal.

He could hope anyway.

 

 

 

**Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

 

Minhyuk must have fallen asleep again, because when he came to his senses, Wonho was no longer there beside him.  He glanced over where Wonho was sitting earlier and saw a neatly folded pair of jeans and hoodie. Right on top of the stack of folded garments, there was a packed sandwich and a triangle kimbap. On the side, there was coffee in a tall paper cup with a note on its lid.

He straightened himself, wincing slightly at the kinks in his neck from sleeping in the uncomfortable position for too long. He yawned and reached for the attached note, reading it through bleary eyes.

 

 

> _Minhyukkie,_
> 
> _Here’s a pair of fresh clothes and also something light for you to munch on. I know you’re hungry. Your tummy made rather unworldly noises while you slept. Get changed and feed that monster in your stomach. The coffee might be cold and stale by the time you wake up, sorry about that. I’ll bring you a hot one when I come by later._
> 
> _WH, ♥_
> 
>  

 

The heart doodled at the end of Wonho’s signed initials brought a small smile on Minhyuk’s lips. Despite feeling the guilt still gnawing at his being, the twenty-five year old felt a little weight lifted off his shoulders, knowing that Wonho was no longer mad at him for what had happened.

Feeling slightly hopeful, Minhyuk basked in the small consolation. Knowing for a fact that the other members didn’t hate him for what he had done was more than he could possibly deserve. He knew that he had to make it up to them somehow; to Kihyun and to the other members as well.  

As if on cue, his stomach grumbled loudly. He did not waste another second, he reached for the sandwiches and started to munch on it gratefully. The coffee was indeed cold but it didn’t bother him one bit. He was on his third bite of the tuna mayo kimbap when he heard a voice broke out over the intercom system.

_Code Blue in room 2B, Code Blue room 2B stat!_

Immediately after the announcement, he saw a flock of medical personnel rushing towards the ICU with a crash cart, panic was written all over their faces.

Minhyuk immediately froze and his heart dropped to his stomach. Code blue. He knew what that meant.

“Page Dr.Kim Daehyun, now! Let him know his patient with the stab wound just coded!” A different doctor that Minhyuk was unfamiliar with barked out to one of the nurses as he disappeared between the double doors of the ICU.

_Dr.Kim Daehyun_.

That was Kihyun’s doctor.

_Patient with the stab wound._

Kihyun.

_No. No, no, no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a quick one-shot but it turned to be a chaptered fic.  
> This chapter was supposed to short, but it ended so long that I decided to split it in half.  
> Apologies for the long gap between updates, and as always thank you so, so much for all the kudos and comments! Thank you for taking your time to read this! ♥


	3. Chapter 3

Minhyuk’s stomach had taken a plunge down to his knees when he heard the code blue announcement over the intercom. His fear was confirmed when he saw Kihyun’s surgeon, Dr. Kim dashed past him heading towards the double doors of the ICU. The poor distraught boy had rushed to the doctor demanding information on his friend’s condition, but the doctor offered nothing. He was told to have a seat and then doctor disappeared beyond the doors.

But that had been more than an hour ago. There was still no news on Kihyun and his panic level was increasing with each passing moment.

When Dr. Kim finally walked into the waiting area, he found Minhyuk sitting on the bench with legs bouncing in nervous anticipation. Dr. Kim cleared his throat, immediately getting attention from the boy.

“What happened? How’s my friend? Is he okay? Is he still alive?” Minhyuk rambled out in a barrage of questions as he stood up and walked over to the doctor.

“His blood pressure bottomed out, which then caused his heart to stop. We have his heart started again, so yes, he’s alive and doing as well as can be expected right now.” The doctor said calmly.  “We adjusted the medications we’re giving him and we will keep an eye on his blood pressure and make sure it stays at a safe level. He’s being prepped right now to be taken for a CT scan,” Dr.Kim noticed Minhyuk’s additional distress at the new information, so he explained the situation. “Please don’t be alarmed, we’re sending him to have a CT scan as a precaution to check and make sure that everything is okay and there's no missed or additional bleeding.

Minhyuk nodded dumbly at the doctor’s long explanation. The only thing that he truly cared to hear was that his friend was still alive.

“I tell you what…” the doctor paused, he looked like he was contemplating his next words. “I’ll let you see him for a little bit after he’s done with the CT scan. But after that, you have to promise me that you’ll go home and get some rest.”

Minhyuk’s expression lightened ever so slightly at the doctor’s offer. He really wanted to see Kihyun, but the thought of going back to the dorm and leaving Kihyun all by himself in the hospital worried him. He weighed his decision for a moment before nodding his head in defeat.

“It's going to take at least an hour. Why don't you take that time to clean yourself up and get changed?” Dr. Kim glanced at Minhyuk’s bloodstained sweater. “We'll let you know when Kihyun gets back to the ICU." He squeezed Minhyuk's shoulder in sympathy. "Don't worry, we'll take good care of him."

 

  **Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

With a huge lump in his throat, Minhyuk walked inside the hospital room. Kihyun. His best friend was lying in the hospital bed unmoving, seemingly in a deep sleep. He felt his heart drop for the hundredth time. Kihyun wouldn’t have ended like this is it wasn’t for him. Tears that had pooled in his eyes now threatened to overflow.

Minhyuk approached the bed and placed his hands on the side. He bit his lower lip to refrain from crying at the ghostly pale face before him. He had to briefly look away to regain control of his emotions before setting his gaze back on his friend.

Kihyun’s bed was surrounded by an array of medical equipment. Countless wires were attached to his arms and chest, and the most jarring of all was the tube threading down his throat.

“Oh, God… Kihyunnie…”

Minhyuk reached out a shaky hand to touch Kihyun's arm but drew it back. As much as he wanted, to touch his friend, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd done this, he'd put Kihyun here on this hospital bed and it didn't matter if it was unintentional. It was his hand that had plunged the knife into Kihyun’s chest.

“Kihyun-ah…” Minhyuk muttered under his breath, grabbing a chair and taking a seat next to his bed. Quietly sitting next to Kihyun's bedside, he studied the features of his friend’s slack face.

"Please, please be okay. I’m sorry…" he pleaded, "you can’t leave us… you can’t leave me… please Kihyun-ah..." His voice faltered with each word.

"You can't die, Kihyun," he whispered, pulling the younger’s hand into his own.

 

**Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

Days passed and Kihyun remained unconscious. The other members came and went, stopping by to be with Kihyun whenever their schedule allowed them. Despite not wanting to leave Kihyun’s side, Minhyuk knew that he had responsibilities to carry out. He would spend most of his free time at the hospital, however, keeping his vigil by Kihyun’s side, clutching his hand and willing for him to wake up.

Kihyun had thankfully made it through the next two days without further complications. Kihyun’s attending doctor, Dr. Kim had mentioned that Kihyun was now no longer in the danger zone and that Kihyun’s body was slowly on the mend. His blood pressure held up, he was free of infection, and the wound was healing nicely. The only concern that Dr. Kim had was Kihyun’s state of unconsciousness. Although Kihyun had not sustained any head injuries Kihyun’s failure to respond to any stimuli was still a source of concern.

Because there could always a chance that Kihyun might never wake up.

.

  **Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘Μ✘**

 

Five days.

One hundred and twenty-two hours. Give or take.

It had been five daunting days of sitting and falling asleep in a thinly padded hospital provided chair. Minhyuk’s back ached and his legs kept falling asleep from being in the sitting position for too long. He barely left his post beside Kihyun’s bed unless he really had to. Not even when he was tired and bored out of his mind. Of course guilt had been one of the biggest reasons he spent most of his time by his unconscious friend’s side, day in and day out, but it was also because he feared that if he left for too long, he wouldn’t be able to be there for Kihyun if he ever decided to wake up.

“Come on, Ki… please… wake up already… ” Minhyuk pleaded outwardly as he stifled a yawn. “I’d do anything just for you to wake up… come on…” He felt like he was losing his mind for talking to his unconscious friend. But it gave him some sort of comfort, somehow. Even though he knew that Kihyun couldn’t reply, he was just content on running his mouth and having one-sided conversations with his friend anyway.

“I’d offer to cook you meals for a month, but you know I’m hopeless with that kind of thing. Um… how about washing the dishes for a straight month?” Minhyuk offered in a desperate attempt to bribe his friend to come out from the oblivion. “Two months if you wake up today… I’ll do the dishes for two months!” at this point, he was willing to do just about anything just to see Kihyun’s eyes open again. “I’ll even do the laundry…”

Minhyuk sighed at the lack of response, resting his head on the side of the bed, he continued to ramble on. “Come on… sleeping beauty, wake up. Open those beautiful eyes of yours... do I need to give you the kiss of life so you’d wake up, princess?” Minhyuk teased good-naturedly as he grabbed Kihyun’s hand into his own as he always did, playing with his fingers. “Cause if… that’s what I need to do… I would do it… just so you’d wake up…” The older boy said in a whisper as he fiddled mindlessly with Kihyun’s fingers.

“Hmmm… Aren’t you the sight for sore eyes?” a scratchy voice mumbled.

Minhyuk’s head snapped up and he squeaked, jumping slightly in surprise in the chair. “Oh, my god! Oh. My. God. Kihyunnie! You’re awake! Oh, my god!” Minhyuk straightened himself and leaned closer, making sure that he wasn’t just imagining it. His friend was really finally awake.

His sleep-glazed eyes were opened in mere slits, looking up at Minhyuk. “Mmm-hmm… had to… wake up before… you try to kiss me. Wouldn’t want that to happen… I didn’t need that in my life…” Kihyun retorted, his voice scratchy and raw.

Truth be told, Minhyuk could really kiss Kihyun that very moment. He could barely contain his excitement. “Are you in pain? How’s your chest? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Let me get the nu—“

“Oh god… enough… Minhyuk…” Kihyun breathed exasperatedly, “…you’re giving me a headache… stop…” The vocalist winced as he shifted, attempting to sit up a little.

Minhyuk placed a palm against Kihyun’s shoulder to stop him from moving any further. “Stay… you shouldn’t move too much. I should get the nurse!” Worry was written all over the older boy’s face.

Kihyun grabbed Minhyuk by the wrist before he could leave his side. “No….  I’m fine…”

Minhyuk hesitated for a mere second but decided to give in at his friend’s request.

“How long …”

“Five days… it has been five days, Ki… we almost lost you…” Minhyuk thought about the five awful days that Kihyun had been unconscious.

Kihyun had nothing to say to that. He didn’t realize that he had been out for that long. He wondered what he had missed in the span of those five days. The realization of not being able to fulfill the things that he was supposed to be doing on those days made him feel slightly anxious.

Relief was evident on Minhyuk’s face, masking the feeling of guilt that had been gnawing at him this whole time. He hadn’t smiled this brightly since the day he accidentally plunged a knife into his friend’s chest. “But seriously how are you feeling?”

Kihyun sighed, he felt like he had been stabbed in the chest and then hit by a bus. “Just a little sore… I’ll live…” he muttered under his breath as he let his eyes fall closed, everything on his body was hurting.

Minhyuk knew Kihyun wasn’t telling it like it was, but he decided not to press on. He nodded and let a few moments of silence pass between them before he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Are we… going to talk about it…?” The bright smile on his face lingered, but it was slightly faded.

Kihyun kept his eyes closed. “Hmm… about…?”

“About what happened… about how I accidentally drove a knife int—“

Kihyun let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. Actually, he didn’t want to talk about it. “It was an accident, Min… you didn’t mean it…” the vocalist said and paused, “at least I hope you didn’t mean it, because jeez, that was a big knife…” Although he wholeheartedly knew that his friend hadn’t meant it, he felt like teasing the older boy, anyway.

Minhyuk’s face fell into a pout. "I'm sorry, Ki. You know I would never hurt you intentionally."

“It’s entirely my fault… We almost lost you over a stupid, senseless joke.  I’m so… stupid… what was I even thinking? It almost cost you your life. I’m really, really sorry, Ki… ” His lips quivered, he clamped a hand over his mouth, choking back the sobs, the tears once held in check, now flowed freely down his cheeks. “Do… you hate me? Please tell me you don’t hate me…”

Kihyun sighed. “Hey, hey stop that… I don’t like it when you cry…” He really didn’t. There was nothing that he hated more than seeing people around him cry—especially when he was the reason for their tears.

Kihyun looked at his tear-stricken friend blearily. Of course, he didn’t hate Minhyuk. He could replay that moment when he felt the knife was driven into his body a thousand times and Kihyun could never feel hatred toward Minhyuk. Kihyun wasn’t ready for this deep emotional talk that Minhyuk was initiating, but he knew that Minhyuk was looking for absolution. He understood that Minhyuk needed it.

When Kihyun didn’t answer, Minhyuk felt the desperation creeping up on him. “I’m sorry, Ki… I’m sorry…” Minhyuk repeated like a broken record between broken sobs. If their friendship could no longer be in the shape that it was in before, the older boy could actually understand. Who would want to be friends with somebody that stabbed them with a kitchen knife for no apparent reason?

"I know I don't even deserve you talking to me right now. I almost killed you. I stabbed you.”

“I don’t hate you, Min…” Kihyun said. “I know you didn’t mean it. Can we just let it be at that?”

Minhyuk looked at Kihyun with teary eyes. “Really?” he sniffed and his eyes sparkled. The small smile pulled at the corner of his lips turned into his signature Cheshire Cat-like grin. “You really, really, really don’t hate me?”

Kihyun rolled his eyes. He could sense Minhyuk’s usual mischievousness in his tone.

“I love you, Yoo Kihyun!” He said gleefully, eyes still sparkling with remaining unshed tears even though the big weight of guilt was finally lifted off his shoulder. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,”

“Mmm… you can definitely start with two months of laundry and washing the dishes.”

Minhyuk sniffled and pulled a face at Kihyun’s reply. Now he kind of wished he had made a different promise.

Despite still feeling under the weather, Kihyun did not fail to notice the tired lines that had seemed to settle on Minhyuk’s face. "Seriously, Min," Kihyun looked up at Minhyuk with concern. "Go home, get some proper rest.  I'm fine now, you don't have to worry anymore."

"No way, Ki. No way! I'm not going anywhere, you’re not getting rid of me," Minhyuk practically whined, his lips protruding into a pout.

Kihyun simply smiled in response, he had no energy to argue. He was actually glad that Minhyuk was there with him..

“So… what’s the lesson to this one?” Kihyun teased after a few moments of silence.

“That you shouldn’t be standing beside someone who’s holding a knife?” Minhyuk replied cheekily and Kihyun rolled his eyes.

Even though Kihyun’s tone was light, Minhyuk chastised himself for making light of the situation. It was too close.  Too close for it to be a mere joke. The last time he had attempted a lame joke, it had almost cost his best friend’s life.

Minhyuk sucked in a deep breath and sniffed. “I learned how to not pass a knife… I promise next time I won’t be so careless with knives. Better yet, let me do anything that doesn’t involve a knife.”

“Next time… I won’t invite you to my cooking show.” Kihyun responded in a voice filled with fake conviction. He gave Minhyuk an intimidating glare, but it was offset by the corners of his mouth tugging upward.

_Next time._

Minhyuk smiled, just grateful that there will be one.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I hope everyone's having a good time!  
> Thank you to everyone who had followed this story from the beginning, thank you for your comments, feedbacks, bookmarks, subs, and kudos, and of course thank you for your patience. I truly appreciate them.  
> Stay safe ya'll! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> I know I was supposed to be finishing my other fic, but I got stuck towards the end and this idea I had for later just wouldn't leave me alone. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it ended up longer than I have planned. Yikes.


End file.
